Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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