Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
