The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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