So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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