when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
