i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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