at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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