His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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