Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize