I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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