Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize