Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
