Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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