i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize