i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
