nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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