even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
