So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
