Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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