Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize