Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize