Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
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