Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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