I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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