as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
