i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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