you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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