Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
