God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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