to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize