It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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