Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize