the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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