I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
