I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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