I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
