Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
