can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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