can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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