I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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