I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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