I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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