just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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