Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
