Im at strip club and am horny
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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