some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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