I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
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Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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