He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
