ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
