No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
