she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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