He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
