Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
