I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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